Thursday, June 14, 2012

Letting Go vs. Getting Closer

I was going to email my husband this blogpost, but the following paragraph inspired me to post it here instead.
The chapter titles in some of the pregnancy books we read featured “Being a Mom” versus “Becoming a Father.” I joked about it then, and now I find that it’s true: you are instantly a mom, but you become a father. My wife was never more needed than she was that first day, and will never be again. Her journey requires a steady sequence of letting go (giving birth, going back to work, weaning from the breast). My journey is in reverse, it’s a steady sequence of getting closer.
As we are getting closer to the due date, I am realizing how much I am going to miss having the baby as a part of me. When I first found out I was pregnant, I couldn't wait till the due date, and thought it was light years away. But, now that I am almost half way through my third trimester, I know I am going to miss feeling the baby's kicks, little movements, and seeing his or her little fingers through my epidermis. 

In the quoted paragraph, it says that motherhood is about letting go. I would never have this much control over the baby's diet and safety as I have now. When my husband and I were talking about setting up the baby's crib in our room for the first few months, I could already sense the feelings of separation anxiety taking over the better of me. The mother in me found the idea of having the baby a feet away from our bed heartbreaking. Pregnancy is a beautiful (albeit at times uncomfortable) experience and I am going to miss it.