Thursday, May 14, 2009

For the Sanctity of the F-Word

Okay, I am confused. The movie tells me that if a guy doesn't call you, doesn't ask you out, makes you wait on him, doesn't want to plan stuff, doesn't want to go out, doesn't want to move in together, doesn't want to have kids...HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

Is it really that simple? So, what if the guy is shy? Or, what if, when you are busy being coy, the guy arrives at the conclusion that you are not interested in him, and the fear of rejection stops him from making the move, you have been waiting for?

I get confused with these dating guidelines. I would find it endearing if people just went for what they wanted. Both girls, and boys. I like to think that I am an upfront person, and if the opportunity presents itself I wouldn't have any qualms about asking the guy out. We are supposed to be beyond sexism. Equal opportunities for all. Do what we please. So why slow down the dating process with these stupid rules? Who benefits from these stupid rules, anyway? The "Self Help" book industry? And, the "feminists" at Cosmo?

Okay, so this is what I have against Cosmopolitan. The periodical's former editor, self-proclaimed feminist, skeletal Helen Gurley Brown, once said that girls should have border-line anorexia nervosa to maintain an "ideal" body weight. Cosmo, the 80 year old magazine, instead of writing about women in politics, or positive female role models, primarily focuses on "How to Please Your Man", "What Men Like", "Where to Find Eligible Bachelors", and other male-centric topics. Okay, I realize nobody wants to read about the brutalities women are faced with in Darfur and Congo. But, why they are turning their readers into predatory men-hunting sex slaves is beyond me.

Then there are the other delusional feminists, the "Sex and the City" clowns. They believe, men are like shoes, wear them and then dispose them off. These women use feminism to liberate themselves from any moral and/or social obligations. Look, I love pretty outfits as much as the next girl, but since when did it become okay to spend our entire paycheck on our wardrobe? And, now, they are coming up with another "Sex and the City" movie. Hey, at least these women are helping the economy, Paul Krugman style.

And, I don't get the Oprah cult either. Oprah started bugging me back when she plastered her stamp of approval on James Frey's dubious A Million Little Pieces. Later, when it was discovered that Frey exaggerated the truth, and his book was more fictional and less of a druggie hero's triumphal memoir, she called him on her show to yell at him. Dude, Oprah, didn't you have a moral responsibility to check the book's credentials before you endorsed it? And, what is with the "O" logo mugs, which are sold for 12 bucks each? And, if we are supposed to love ourselves first, and be comfortable with our body, embrace all body shapes and forms; then why is Oprah so critical of her own weight gain? Look, I respect the woman's rags to riches story, but I don't respect her bogus commercialism tactics.

By the way, to the future object of my affection, if I am ignoring you, please don't think I am not just that into you. Take my bizarre behaviour as a cue to ask me out :). And, don't ever quote The Secret to me! Don't ever tell me that some bizarre law of attraction brought us together! And, if you dig a girl who avidly reads Cosmo and its clones, remember this sort of "feminism" can backfire too:

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML

EDIT (2:44 PM): I just read it in the news that Oprah apologized to James Frey for shaming him on her show. Looks like blogging does have some journalistic relevance after all.


Shak said...

Maybe a guy *is* shy, but then perhaps that's a barrier he should overcome himself if he really liked you? I'm the last one to say it's a guy's job to make the first move (it isn't) but generally I don't think shyness is an excuse for inaction.

Zany said...


I agree, I would see the guy's failure to act upon his "feelings" as a sign of weakness. But, my problem is with the guidelines. Just how a guy's shyness would be seen an excuse, I think us girls also shouldn't just wait around, and make the guys do the work. If the feelings are there people shouldn't wait because some movie told them to. That was the point I was trying to make.

But, again it's a lot easy for me to write about this stuff, because I would just make my mommy call his mommy :).

Maria Sondule said...

Well I wouldn't give up if he doesn't call you, but if he doesn't have a good reason for not wanting to live with you, then that's kind of a warning sign, in my opinion...
People do spend too much time thinking about dating and stuff like that, but isn't that all just part of the bizarre wonder of love? If people obsess about it so much, must it not be amazing?

Zany said...


I agree, if the guy doesn't want to commit then that's a definite warning sign. But, I think in the beginning there is no point in waiting around for him to make the first move. If we stop following the guidelines, we would be able to appreciate the feelings even more.

I like how you said:
"If people obsess about it so much, must it not be amazing?"

Huriya said...

I agree with you on the Oprah thing .. i bought the book before the whole controversy started and half way through I thought it was crap.. and since then I lost 40% respect for Oprah :D