Moving on and/or growing up requires one to come in terms with their new role in life. And, this is the theme of Toy Story 3, a very emotional animated film by Pixar, which perfectly tells the story of what love and moving on is. Love is fluid and in many ways impermanent and immortal at the same time. It is an abstract feeling which is not fixed in time or place. The distance doesn't change our love it just reshapes, and redefines it.
Our adolescence is dominated with the feeling that we are the absolute centre of the universe. We feel we are misunderstood by everyone because we are "oh so very unique". We want everything; and everything is possible. We live by the doctrine "All or nothing" as Shakespeare showed in "Romeo and Juliet". If the 15 year old Juliet couldn't live with her teenage Romeo she didn't want to live at all. But, as we grow up we become more aware of our own limitations. This self-awareness may lead to disappointment and dismay as Richard Yates depicted in "Revolutionary Road".
But growing up is also an evolution of our relationships. I feel I have learnt a lot in these past 9 months of marriage. Living away from home (Toronto), and the distance of almost an entire continent forced me to reevaluate my life, and my relationship with my family and friends. Recently I was back in Toronto for one whole month. I had anticipated that my time there would be the same as what my life was like before I got married and moved to California. But my month long stay made me realize that my life is in California now. Until my husband and I move back to Canada for good, I would always be a visitor...guest...there.
As humans we are very adaptable. Life is constantly changing around us, and like the toys in the movie, we are forced to adapt to these changes. Holding onto the past would only lead to unhappiness.
But then again it's good to hold onto some traditions. For instance, I waited a whole month to watch Toy Story, so I could honour the tradition of watching Pixar productions with my sister. And, it was worth the wait.
Our adolescence is dominated with the feeling that we are the absolute centre of the universe. We feel we are misunderstood by everyone because we are "oh so very unique". We want everything; and everything is possible. We live by the doctrine "All or nothing" as Shakespeare showed in "Romeo and Juliet". If the 15 year old Juliet couldn't live with her teenage Romeo she didn't want to live at all. But, as we grow up we become more aware of our own limitations. This self-awareness may lead to disappointment and dismay as Richard Yates depicted in "Revolutionary Road".
But growing up is also an evolution of our relationships. I feel I have learnt a lot in these past 9 months of marriage. Living away from home (Toronto), and the distance of almost an entire continent forced me to reevaluate my life, and my relationship with my family and friends. Recently I was back in Toronto for one whole month. I had anticipated that my time there would be the same as what my life was like before I got married and moved to California. But my month long stay made me realize that my life is in California now. Until my husband and I move back to Canada for good, I would always be a visitor...guest...there.
As humans we are very adaptable. Life is constantly changing around us, and like the toys in the movie, we are forced to adapt to these changes. Holding onto the past would only lead to unhappiness.
But then again it's good to hold onto some traditions. For instance, I waited a whole month to watch Toy Story, so I could honour the tradition of watching Pixar productions with my sister. And, it was worth the wait.
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5 comments:
Did you cry? I bet you did.
Excellent post. This attitude is precisely what I'm looking for in a partner, but unfortunately either I can't see it in others or not many people have it to begin with.
It was a tearjerker.
The movie made me realize that moving on and/or growing up requires a lot of maturity and sensibility. It's hard.
But it's a difficulty that you take on because you know it's worth it. Many people miss that point.
I call it starting a new life. The life before marriage was like a beautiful dream that ended. Now its you and me starting our lives together and this journey will create a lot of wonderful memories to cherish.
You're saying the same thing and demonstrating the same attitude imo.
There's two types of people when it comes to marriage. The first see marriage as something new to add to their existing lives, something to add to and enhance it. The other see real life at simply starting the day they get married. Everything before was just to lead up to it.
Neither are incorrect, but nowadays there certainly aren't many of the latter.
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