"He who hesitates is lost" vs. "Everything comes to he who waits."
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" vs. "Out of sight, out of mind."
"You can't teach an old dog new tricks" vs. "It's never too late to learn."
"The best things in life are free" vs. "There is no such thing as a free lunch."
"Seeing is believing" vs. "Appearances could be deceptive."
"Tomorrow is another day" vs. "Tomorrow never comes."
It's rather funny to notice how the above aphorisms contradict each other. No wonder proverbs are so confusing. In his new book Should You Judge This Book by Its Cover? the author Julian Baggini deconstructs 100 well-known proverbs and phrases we frequently misuse.
The book seems interesting. But, then, not everything that glitters is gold, eh? I am waiting for the Kindle version to be released, so I can read the book on my Kindle. Since I don't want to judge this book by its cover :).
When I met my husband for the first time, a year ago today, we didn't talk much. To me he was just one of the many guys my parents were forcing encouraging me to meet. All I knew was that he worked and lived in California. Since I had no plans of leaving Toronto, I just sat there comfortably on my cynical high horse, while he tried to impress my folks. He was talking to my father about work, and I found him boring. But, when he was finally leaving he gave me the most sincere and sweet smile.
It was because of this smile I agreed to meet him again for our second date. My second first impression of him was completely different from my first. He was so not boring. I found him witty, intelligent, and humble. I saw respect in his eyes. We talked about a lot of things including my research and the swine flu. It was when we were talking about Peru, I realized that it would be a great loss, if I didn't get to spend the rest of my life with him. Since I got the feeling that he would always take care of me. While I was having this epiphany my brain completely froze, and I couldn't, for the life of me, remember the name of the Inca site, Machu Picchu, we were talking about. I literally blanked out for five minutes and then ended up apologizing for my ditziness.
Four months later we got married, and I have been living in the States for the past seven months now. It has taken me a year to actually blog about my love story. Cheesy, I know. Everything with us happened so fast that it got very overwhelming at times. In the first few months I couldn't make sense of it all. But the reason this relationship worked out for us because we knew exactly what we were looking for. So when we finally met each other we didn't waste anytime.
I have realized that what makes marriage work is the commitment the husband and wife have for each other. If it is important for them to have a happy married life, they would do whatever it takes to make it work. Superficial aspects, like oh we must like the same shows, or read the same books are not important in the long run. If the husband and wife both want to keep each other happy they would do whatever it takes to make that happen.
I know it sounds like a simple concept. Just be committed to being committed. But it seems so elusive in today's world. We care too much about the material things.
Life is wonderful and complete, if at the end of the day, you, your loved ones, and your family are healthy and happy. That's all that matters. I know we lose sight of that sometimes. Even I lose sight of that. Living away from family in the States has been a difficult challenge for me. It has made me a snobby patriotic Canadian. But, the fact that I have my husband with me makes everything okay. I can cry to him when I miss home. I can talk to him when I get frustrated. It's just at the end of the day I know he will do anything and everything to keep me happy. And, that is what has made this past one year so remarkably beautiful.
Okay, I am confused. The movie tells me that if a guy doesn't call you, doesn't ask you out, makes you wait on him, doesn't want to plan stuff, doesn't want to go out, doesn't want to move in together, doesn't want to have kids...HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
Is it really that simple? So, what if the guy is shy? Or, what if, when you are busy being coy, the guy arrives at the conclusion that you are not interested in him, and the fear of rejection stops him from making the move, you have been waiting for?
I get confused with these dating guidelines. I would find it endearing if people just went for what they wanted. Both girls, and boys. I like to think that I am an upfront person, and if the opportunity presents itself I wouldn't have any qualms about asking the guy out. We are supposed to be beyond sexism. Equal opportunities for all. Do what we please. So why slow down the dating process with these stupid rules? Who benefits from these stupid rules, anyway? The "Self Help" book industry? And, the "feminists" at Cosmo?
Okay, so this is what I have against Cosmopolitan. The periodical's former editor, self-proclaimed feminist, skeletal Helen Gurley Brown, once said that girls should have border-line anorexia nervosa to maintain an "ideal" body weight. Cosmo, the 80 year old magazine, instead of writing about women in politics, or positive female role models, primarily focuses on "How to Please Your Man", "What Men Like", "Where to Find Eligible Bachelors", and other male-centric topics. Okay, I realize nobody wants to read about the brutalities women are faced with in Darfur and Congo. But, why they are turning their readers into predatory men-hunting sex slaves is beyond me.
Then there are the other delusional feminists, the "Sex and the City" clowns. They believe, men are like shoes, wear them and then dispose them off. These women use feminism to liberate themselves from any moral and/or social obligations. Look, I love pretty outfits as much as the next girl, but since when did it become okay to spend our entire paycheck on our wardrobe? And, now, they are coming up with another "Sex and the City" movie. Hey, at least these women are helping the economy, Paul Krugman style.
And, I don't get the Oprah cult either. Oprah started bugging me back when she plastered her stamp of approval on James Frey's dubious A Million Little Pieces. Later, when it was discovered that Frey exaggerated the truth, and his book was more fictional and less of a druggie hero's triumphal memoir, she called him on her show to yell at him. Dude, Oprah, didn't you have a moral responsibility to check the book's credentials before you endorsed it? And, what is with the "O" logo mugs, which are sold for 12 bucks each? And, if we are supposed to love ourselves first, and be comfortable with our body, embrace all body shapes and forms; then why is Oprah so critical of her own weight gain? Look, I respect the woman's rags to riches story, but I don't respect her bogus commercialism tactics.
By the way, to the future object of my affection, if I am ignoring you, please don't think I am not just that into you. Take my bizarre behaviour as a cue to ask me out :). And, don't ever quote The Secret to me! Don't ever tell me that some bizarre law of attraction brought us together! And, if you dig a girl who avidly reads Cosmo and its clones, remember this sort of "feminism" can backfire too:
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML
EDIT (2:44 PM): I just read it in the news that Oprah apologized to James Frey for shaming him on her show. Looks like blogging does have some journalistic relevance after all.
In an Apatow world, socially stunted, slobby, scruffy men somehow manage to have attractive blond girlfriends. These men do not really have to work on their social skills, and Mary Jane problem to find love. It is no wonder these Apatow movies turn out to be blockbuster hits, eh?
But, in the real world we get surprised when "less attractive" individuals actually amount to something. For instance, look at the recent, okay not so recent, YouTube sensation, British Susan Boyle. When she first stepped on the stage, the audience and the judges were ready to write her off, but out came that powerful voice, and she had everyone mesmerized. Had she been a Barbie look-alike, people on this side of the pond, probably, would have never heard of her.
Nikolai Gogol's stories are about such "less attractive" social outcasts. He wrote about social nobodies who work in the corrupt government offices. Gogol had hoped to achieve literary success when he moved to St. Petersburg from Ukraine. But, he had trouble finding his footing in the corrupt imperial capital.
"The Overcoat" centers around Akaky Akakievich, who is a government clerk. Akaky Akakievich not only has an unfortunate name, but is also poor, lonely, and unattractive. He spends his day copying government documents, and getting teased by his co-workers. When his old worn-out overcoat reaches the condition where it's beyond repair, Akaky decides to buy a pristine new overcoat, which he cannot afford. He decides to save up, by skipping dinner, and going without the basic utilities. His sole purpose of existence, which was previously about his menial job, now becomes about buying the new overcoat.
Gogol's stories are about people whose lives are marked by anonymity and oblivion. These individuals find themselves lost in a society, where they are judged on their physical appearances, funny names, and inferior social ranks.
I believe, the reason reality shows like "American Idol", or "Britain's Got Talent" are popular, because they give individuals, like Taylor Hicks, Paul Potts, and Susan Boyle, a chance to do something outside of their social realms. In most cases, the contestants are not restricted by their physical appearance, and/or socio-economic status.
During this economic downturn it is very easy to feel melancholic. Recently, I went to get my passport renewed, and I saw that a whole bunch of stores in the mall, where the government office was located, were having a "closing down sale" because they couldn't keep up with their lease. The thought of so many people losing their jobs made me extremely sad. Which sort of worked in my benefit, since due to the new government policy, Canadians are not allowed to smile in their passport pictures. I guess, this is the government's way of defying the stereotypical view of our innate Canadian niceness.
One of my friends has X-linked myotubular myopathy. Meaning where his twin sister has healthy legs and muscle strength, my friend has trouble moving around. Earlier today, he was telling me that he has a very hard time staying in touch with people, and going out, because he has to either rely on others, or on TransHelp to get to places. This made me realize, here is another thing I take for granted. The ability to walk. The ability to drive.
Tens of thousands of civilians have fled the fighting [in Northern Pakistan] this week and provincial authorities have estimated that as many as 500,000 people may have been displaced.
One of the colossal mistakes we make is that we focus on what we don't have, instead of being grateful for what we do have. There are people getting laid off, and shops getting closed, but at least in this country we have a welfare system, where the unemployed would be looked after, by the government. Unfortunately, we can't say the same about the people in the third world countries. For instance, there is a humanitarian crisis in Pakistan right now, but the country's president instead of being with his people in their time of need decided to travel to the US to ask for more aid, which he would eventually end up spending on himself.
Pakistani children displaced from Buner reach out for food at a United Nations camp in Takht Bai, about 85 miles northwest of Islamabad.
We do not get to determine our place of birth, family, or country; but for the most part they shape our destiny. Any one of us could have easily been one of the individuals in this picture above.
Urmm...Now that the obvious "review" has been successfully plastered on my blog, here are my thoughts on the movie.
I found "Star Trek", the TV series, boring, and I have never been a fan of the canon. Back in the day, my friend used to write short stories based on the series, and since FanFiction didn't exist back then, for the sake of my coolometer/geekometer (however you wanna look at it), he used to email them to me. So whatever previous knowledge I had of the series was due in part to his stories.
I went to watch the movie because of J.J. Abrams. And, folks, Abrams definitely built up his already impressive resume with this movie. There is an excellent mix of action sequences, charm, and humour. It is an entertaining movie, which takes you in, from the get go.
The storyline deals with the eternal struggle between the mind and body, shown through the contrasting characters of Spock (Zachary Qunito from the Heroes), and Captain Kirk (Chris Pine). And, OH MY GOD, Chris Pine is oh so dreamy. Zachary Qunito fits the role of Spock to the T. They both do complete justice to their respective roles, and are a pleasure to watch.
Trekkie or not, DO WATCH THIS MOVIE! Beware, sadly, CNN's holograms sorta stole the CGI's thunder.
One of the frustrating things about Swine Flu, other than people's blatant ignorance, is the amount of dedication our media and government have provided to this outbreak.
Recently, for my research, I have started to look at the correlation between TB and HIV. TB has been on the rise since 1980s, but this problem is more prevalent in Southeast Asia, and Africa. That is why we don't really care how it has become a major cause of death among HIV patients in Africa.
Usually when doctors misdiagnose a TB patient, or when the patient does not have the money to follow the dosing regimen properly, the bacteria becomes more deadly. HIV patients who come in contact with the deadly TB normally end up dying, since their immune system is already compromised. Basically, all because we do not have the means to educate the doctors, or the patients properly. And, I find that disappointing and gut-wrenchingly depressing.
So what happens when the education system fails us, and we are left to stew in our ignorance bubble? As Jon Stewart brilliantly pointed out: Wars, and global crises, God's way of plugging geography. So here is a little Geography 101 for our attention deficient brains.
First up, South Asia. Now, now, the only reason South Asia is getting preferential treatment here is because it won't be around for too long.
Country: Afghanistan Why we care: "The Kite Runner", and "A Thousand Splendid Suns". Thankfully, Khaled Hosseini's bestsellers have provided us with an easy access to the "worldliness" badge. Plug: When Steve Curry's famous 'Afghan Girl' refugee photograph didn't really do it for us, the Taliban came into the picture, to prove that we may have transcended race, but ignorance is the highly esteemed western value we cannot renounce.
Country: Pakistan Meaning: The land of pure; and people say Muslims don't have a sense of humour. Why We Care: America loves Pakistan for two reasons. Firstly, Bin Laden is believed to be hiding somewhere in the Northern region of Pakistan. But, it is not just the search of their estranged ally that has put Pakistan on the map. You see, back in 1998 when Bill Clinton was busy "not lying" to the American people; Pakistan, the most unstable country, somehow went under the radar, and became a nuclear power. So this lovin' maybe out of guilt, but who cares, at least now we know that Pakistan is an actual country, and not all brown people come from India. Plug: Since, Africa has dibs on malnourishment, and illiteracy, so Pakistan needed to elect an idiot of a President to get our attention.
Country: India Why We Care: Slumdog Millionaire. But, if you are really looking for some humanitarian street cred, in addition of talking about the slum kids, you could discuss child hunger in India. Plug: India's negligence to provide education in Bihar, and spurring of sectarian violence in Gujarat; may give it an edge over China to have our undivided attention for a day or two, in a couple of years. We don't care unless the problem comes with casualties. And, let's just face it, something like human trafficking would never become a part of our collective social conscious. After all, slavery is so 19th century.
Country: Nepal Why We Care: Well, we care because now that the Maoist have turned Nepal into a republic, it is safe for us to go trekking in the Himalayas. Plug: Since this country has been a bit MIA lately, here is hoping human trafficking would make Nepal a media regular.
Country: Bangladesh Why We Care: Muhammad Yunus, the Nobel laureate who pioneered microfinancing. A concept our governments are still struggling with. Plug: In the midst of the swine flu outbreak, it's hard to draw attention to the diarrhea epidemic that has affected thousands of poor Bangladeshis. So, sorry Bangladesh, looks like we would have to rely on the floods, again.
Country: Myanmar, formerly known as Burma. Why We Care: Last year, cyclone Nargis killed 150,000, and devastated the lives of 2.4 million other Burmese; making the junta's brutalities finally newsworthy. But, then, we got distracted by the earthquake, and the Olympics, in China. So in this case, China is at fault for stealing Myanmar's thunder. For the sake of our attention deficient brains, one global crisis at a time, please! Plug: Myanmar shows how important politics is. HIV-AIDS patients are dying because the clinics do not have the facilities to treat them. Here is hoping they would find oil in Myanmar, so our governments would be willing to establish "diplomatic relations" with the junta, and we would be able to help the locals. The 49-year-old man in this photograph died two weeks after the picture was taken.
Country: Sri Lanka Why We Care: Frankly, my dear, we don't care. Since late January, more than 6,400 civilians have been killed, and 13,000 wounded. Plug: These deaths have not made it to the front page, because we are more concerned about how Obama has "faired" during his first 100 days. Also, we have already gone through a similar atrocity, albeit in a different region, Middle East, earlier this year. That is more than enough geography for us.
I have to admit my subconscious' humanitarian efforts always put my awake state to shame.
Last night, I had a dream that I was in Afghanistan. I was in Kandahar where the Canadian forces are stationed. Across the street past the barricades, I could see little Afghan children playing under the watchful eyes of the Taliban.
I believe one of the grave mistakes, the US made in Pakistan was that they just handed over 10 billion dollars to the former Pakistani President Musharraf, without any accountability. I think the drone attacks, which Obama supports, further polarize Pakistanis. Before 9/11 there were hardly any extremist groups in Pakistan, but now the Taliban control majority of the Northern Pakistan.
Handing out weapons, and backing corrupt governments is not the way to secure our borders. In Three Cups of Tea, Greg Mortenson shows us that with education we can eradicate the spread of extremist ideology in the region. But, sadly, we would rather solve the problems with weapons, and power exertion; than providing them with the basic necessities, such as proper health care, and education. Poverty nurtures terrorism. Not religion.
I see the US repeating the same mistake in Afghanistan. The US backed Karzai government in Afghanistan is corrupt and weak. Instead of funding the military to tame the ungovernable Afghanistan, we can spend the same money on setting up pharmaceutical industries in Afghanistan, which would not only put an end to the opium drug trafficking, but would also create jobs.
I have no faith in the world leaders to solve our problems, but what gives me hope is people like Fatima Gailani, who are changing lives in one of the most intolerant countries.
"Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them." - Nathaniel Hawthorne
"The only way you can write the truth is to assume that what you set down will never be read. Not by any other person, and not even by yourself at some later date. Otherwise you begin excusing yourself. You must see the writing as emerging like a long scroll of ink from the index finger of your right hand; you must see your left hand erasing it." - Margaret Atwood.
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