Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Remember this song?

Okay, before I start writing, I just want to warn you, this entry is a case of me thinking out loud, so I apologize in advance if it sounds self-involved.

I recently started to talk to someone I was close to in high school. Yes, sadly the high school drama still follows us, regardless of our age. Or so it seems. I was pretty social in high school, but by university I limited my circle of friends to a few people. Partially because I felt that I didn't have the time to meet everyone I once spoke to. And also because I felt I was changing, or they had changed.

Over the years I have become more selective about my friends. Quality takes precedence over quantity. I just didn't bother staying in touch with people who did not have my core-views/values. One of my favourite lines from the series 'Six Feet Under' is when Brenda and Nate discuss that as we age our circle of friends keeps shrinking, when technically it should be the other way around. Technically with age, we meet more people. We have school friends. University friends. Work friends, and so on. But, our lives get busy. Our responsibilities increase. The limited time we have we would rather spend with someone who we actually really like.

At least that is the case with me. I don't do anything half-way. I either like someone or I don't. I would either be your friend, and annoy you with my lameness, or I would just not bother with false pretences. So, when after university graduation a bunch of people started organizing high school reunions, I did not bother going. I felt that the people I wanted to stay in touch with are already on my MSN. I already have the friends I want and actually like, so why go digging through old fossils to form new friendships.

For this reason I also avoided facebook. But eventually I gave into the pressure and became an active facebook user. This meant old friends were added. I recently talked to one of those old friends on the phone. The first time we spoke on the phone it felt that time had not passed and we still had the old connection. We filled each other in about our lives and what had happened since high school. Then when we talked the second time. I was shocked how much we had changed. Or I had changed. With that realization came another.

Do we ever leave high school behind? Is high school something that would haunt us for the rest of our lives?

With the people we grow up with, there is this shared history. They get the essence of our being, because they have seen us transforming. We have seen them through the first silly crushes, teenage angst, university application freak-outs, and so on. But with the new people we meet, they see us as adults. We meet them because we have shared-interests and values.

My high school formal song.


Maria Sondule said...

Lol, if you think this post is self-involved, I wonder what my blog is...
I really like this post. You make a really good point about how people change and why it's important to spend more time with people you like, not people you don't even know why you're friends with.

Zany said...


I realized that we have fond memories of our past. So with the people I have not kept in touch with, I remember the good times we had, and not the reason why we just didn't bother staying in touch. So when I talked to this particular friend, I realized that there was a reason why we didn't stay in contact.

It has made me more grateful of the friends I have. We are not perfect, and neither are our friends. But there is something special about our friendships that makes us stay in touch with them, through thick and thin. So, I am more appreciative of that.

changetheworld360 said...

Change is inevitable but hard to accept. I can relate: I've realized that I have changed a lot over the years as a person, and people that I used to be friends with just don't seem to have anything in common with me anymore. It sounds sad, but that's just the way it is. I'm glad you've been able to reconnect with some of your old friends.

Zany said...


>>I've realized that I have changed a lot over the years as a person, and people that I used to be friends with just don't seem to have anything in common with me anymore.

I couldn't agree with you more. I feel the same way :). Sounds sad, eh?