*and my two cents.
Zahi Hawass, Egypt's chief archaeologist, after a bust of Cleopatra and coins showing her image were found; Hawass says the discovery counters the fact that some scholars say Cleopatra was ugly:
"The finds ... indicate that Cleopatra was in no way unattractive."
*Does this profound, and oh so productive discovery mean, I shouldn't have broken my mirror, when it reckoned Cleopatra to be the fairest one of all?!
Barack Obama, affirming his unwillingness to prosecute CIA interrogators who used waterboarding on terrorism suspects during the Bush Administration:
"We must provide them with the confidence that they can do their jobs."
*Because after waterboarding one suspect 183 times, and another 80 times; it is the confidence that the CIA is lacking!
Hillary Clinton, U.S. Secretary of State, on of the Taliban's recent gains in Pakistan, including gaining control over a district just 70 miles from Islamabad:
"The Pakistani government is basically abdicating to the Taliban and to the extremists."
*After 8 years of abdicating to the Bush administration, you cannot get mad at Pakistan for being spineless now. You should have thought of that when instead of providing education to Pakistanis, you figured it would be more fun to stuff their faces with weapons.
Rod Blagojevich, the former Illinois governor facing corruption charges, on why he asked a judge to let him film a reality-TV show called I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here; the request was denied:
"I have two little girls and a mortgage to pay. Obviously, I'm looking for a new line of work."
*Now, that's a new low for a former governor. What's next, going on Fox News to discuss the financial crisis, a la Spitzer.
Neil Fees, Texas resident, on the ammunition shortage in central Texas that may be caused by fear that Obama will regulate, ban or tax guns and ammo:
"I've got a gun but no bullets."
*Now, here is a "famine" that needs our immediate attention.
You know the economy is in shambles when:
Dimmick, Chuck P.
born December 29, 1958 in Riverside, CA passed away suddenly on April 18, 2009 while attending a NASCAR race to watch his favorite driver, Jeff Gordon. Chuck was the loving husband of Kristen and devoted father of Dillon. Chuck was the Director of Marketing for the Lund Cadillac Group. We are sure he would still want all to know that 0.9% financing is still available on all New 2008 Hummer H2's. A mass celebrating Chuck's life will be held at 11:00 AM on Friday, April 24th at St. Patrick's Church - 10815 N. 84th St. Scottsdale, AZ. Arrangements handled by Hansen Desert Hill Mortuary 480-991-5800. In Lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Dillon Dimmick Donation Fund at any Bank of America.
Zahi Hawass, Egypt's chief archaeologist, after a bust of Cleopatra and coins showing her image were found; Hawass says the discovery counters the fact that some scholars say Cleopatra was ugly:
"The finds ... indicate that Cleopatra was in no way unattractive."
*Does this profound, and oh so productive discovery mean, I shouldn't have broken my mirror, when it reckoned Cleopatra to be the fairest one of all?!
Barack Obama, affirming his unwillingness to prosecute CIA interrogators who used waterboarding on terrorism suspects during the Bush Administration:
"We must provide them with the confidence that they can do their jobs."
*Because after waterboarding one suspect 183 times, and another 80 times; it is the confidence that the CIA is lacking!
Hillary Clinton, U.S. Secretary of State, on of the Taliban's recent gains in Pakistan, including gaining control over a district just 70 miles from Islamabad:
"The Pakistani government is basically abdicating to the Taliban and to the extremists."
*After 8 years of abdicating to the Bush administration, you cannot get mad at Pakistan for being spineless now. You should have thought of that when instead of providing education to Pakistanis, you figured it would be more fun to stuff their faces with weapons.
Rod Blagojevich, the former Illinois governor facing corruption charges, on why he asked a judge to let him film a reality-TV show called I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here; the request was denied:
"I have two little girls and a mortgage to pay. Obviously, I'm looking for a new line of work."
*Now, that's a new low for a former governor. What's next, going on Fox News to discuss the financial crisis, a la Spitzer.
Neil Fees, Texas resident, on the ammunition shortage in central Texas that may be caused by fear that Obama will regulate, ban or tax guns and ammo:
"I've got a gun but no bullets."
*Now, here is a "famine" that needs our immediate attention.
You know the economy is in shambles when:
Dimmick, Chuck P.
born December 29, 1958 in Riverside, CA passed away suddenly on April 18, 2009 while attending a NASCAR race to watch his favorite driver, Jeff Gordon. Chuck was the loving husband of Kristen and devoted father of Dillon. Chuck was the Director of Marketing for the Lund Cadillac Group. We are sure he would still want all to know that 0.9% financing is still available on all New 2008 Hummer H2's. A mass celebrating Chuck's life will be held at 11:00 AM on Friday, April 24th at St. Patrick's Church - 10815 N. 84th St. Scottsdale, AZ. Arrangements handled by Hansen Desert Hill Mortuary 480-991-5800. In Lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Dillon Dimmick Donation Fund at any Bank of America.
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4 comments:
This post is hilarious!
*l* XD
Awww...Thanks. I needed an outlet for my dorkiness.
Being funny is NOT dorky...
ok, maybe this kind is, but dorkiness is pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.
hehehe. Good to know :).
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