Wednesday, April 1, 2009

You Made a Mistake

I am writing this post with all the stereotypical Canadian politeness, to inform you, my dear American readers, that you made a mistake by electing Barack Obama in the midst of the global economic crisis.

So ever wonder where all the taxpayer dollars are going?
Well apparently, your elitist of a President thinks, the phrase "War on Terror" is just not zen enough. War on Terror shall now be referred as "Overseas Contingency Operation". Yes, we get it Obama you went to Harvard, and you have written two books, but why must you turn war into a snobfest is beyond me. Furthermore, terrorist attacks will now be called "MAN-made Disasters", which sounds extremely sexist. Seriously, whatever happened to equal opportunities for all?!

As Jon Stewart mentioned, Obama wants you to start calling the Obesity Epidemic as "Enhanced Biological Jollification", which sounds so much more palatable, eh? My advice to all the haters out there: Instead of blaming immigrants for stealing your jobs and money, blame the linguists for coming up with this huggy-feely Orwellian speak.

Obama's recent no-expense spared trip to London to resolve the global economic crisis, ought to have put some serious dent in the American budget-wallet. The guy is travelling with his own personal chef. Way to stick it to the Brits, eh?

In Obama's defence, he maybe a diva, but he has transcended geographical barriers, and created jobs for other black look-alike men. Look how far we have come. Here is a black man selling a South Korean made car:

Also, I love The Office for introducing a black character as Michael Scott's boss. Nothing cracks me up more than the fact how Angela and Kelly Kapoor are going all ga-ga over this new black dapper authority figure. Obamamania, anyone?!

Oh, Obama, the ways in which you have undone your wrongs.


changetheworld360 said...

I like this post: informative, creative, truthful, and slightly amusing all at the same time.
As you probably know from my previous mentions of this topic, I share your sentiments.

Zany said...


I am so scared to write, or say anything negative about Obama. This insane amount of blind faith in him reminds me of the time when the mainstream media and public condemned The Dixie Chicks for speaking up against the Iraq War back in 2003.

Maria Sondule said...

Wow, this is pretty funny. In Obama's defense, all he's doing is making it harder for people to pronounce things, while Bush started a war. I'll take Obama, please!
As for the personal chef thing, he shouldn't have taken all his staff and everything....

Zany said...


At least he's doing his bit to improve our vocabulary :).

However, I don't know, how one can justify having a personal chef, and a gym on Air Force One.