Marriage means different things to different people.
For some it is just practical. Two people with similar values coming together to build a life together. They don’t have any romantic expectations from each other. They find romance in the institution of marriage, and in the idea of planning a wedding, picking out the dress, the flowers, the venue, you know the whole shindig. The couple’s primary expectation from each other is simple and very vague, they want to look after each other (hopefully), and get busy right away.
In a culture, where your success depends on your marital status (apparently South Asians took the principles of evolution* a little too seriously) what are the singletons supposed to do? If someone has been out in the market for a while, people wonder why they are still single, wonder if there’s something seriously wrong with them.
During the dating process, there’s always this excitement and hope of meeting someone special, dare I say better. Better here is very subjective. But once you agree to tie the knot, you are also agreeing to give up on that fantasy. I know there is a possibility of your future spouse superseding your expectations, and actually appreciating, and loving you more than you ever imagined it was possible. But, sometimes fiction is so much better than the actual reality. The dream of being in a relationship, where you have the perfect combination of chemistry and compatibility, is very hard to actually have in the real life. So personally, I rather take my time now to make sure I don’t spend the rest of my life wondering what could have happened had I waited a bit longer. I don't want to rush into something that is merely A-OK, and not excellent. In the meantime, the idea and the hope of that special someone is more than enough, at least for now :D.
If a guy needs to impress a girl, he doesn’t need a flashy car or oodles of cash, there are so many other formidable traits that are far more important, such as a good sense of humour. I will take Andy Samberg any day over Mark Wahlberg.
A psychological study, conducted at McMaster University showed, the female participants preferred a witty guy over a hunkilicious empty vessel. Men, who participated, in the study, also gave the same feedback. But their definition of a funny woman was someone with the sense of humour to appreciate their hilarity. (Men, always thinking about themselves *shakes head*)
So we have already established what women want, let's turn to our good friend Darwin to figure out what men are looking for. Men dig symmetry. Men are drawn to symmetrical features, as they are indicative of healthy genes, and fecundity. No wonder it is so important for us ladies to make sure our eyebrows are matching :P (Great, I so don’t stand a chance now; thanks to my new eyebrow lady). Sexy symmetrical bodies help men in gauging reproductive health of their potential mate, and informing them whether the mating between the two would make them evolutionary fit, resulting in several healthy offspring.
I know in real life things are different, and a lot more complicated; we are all looking for a combination of different traits.
* In evolution an organism that leaves behind the most number of long living offspring is considered successful or fit.
For some it is just practical. Two people with similar values coming together to build a life together. They don’t have any romantic expectations from each other. They find romance in the institution of marriage, and in the idea of planning a wedding, picking out the dress, the flowers, the venue, you know the whole shindig. The couple’s primary expectation from each other is simple and very vague, they want to look after each other (hopefully), and get busy right away.
In a culture, where your success depends on your marital status (apparently South Asians took the principles of evolution* a little too seriously) what are the singletons supposed to do? If someone has been out in the market for a while, people wonder why they are still single, wonder if there’s something seriously wrong with them.
During the dating process, there’s always this excitement and hope of meeting someone special, dare I say better. Better here is very subjective. But once you agree to tie the knot, you are also agreeing to give up on that fantasy. I know there is a possibility of your future spouse superseding your expectations, and actually appreciating, and loving you more than you ever imagined it was possible. But, sometimes fiction is so much better than the actual reality. The dream of being in a relationship, where you have the perfect combination of chemistry and compatibility, is very hard to actually have in the real life. So personally, I rather take my time now to make sure I don’t spend the rest of my life wondering what could have happened had I waited a bit longer. I don't want to rush into something that is merely A-OK, and not excellent. In the meantime, the idea and the hope of that special someone is more than enough, at least for now :D.
If a guy needs to impress a girl, he doesn’t need a flashy car or oodles of cash, there are so many other formidable traits that are far more important, such as a good sense of humour. I will take Andy Samberg any day over Mark Wahlberg.
A psychological study, conducted at McMaster University showed, the female participants preferred a witty guy over a hunkilicious empty vessel. Men, who participated, in the study, also gave the same feedback. But their definition of a funny woman was someone with the sense of humour to appreciate their hilarity. (Men, always thinking about themselves *shakes head*)
So we have already established what women want, let's turn to our good friend Darwin to figure out what men are looking for. Men dig symmetry. Men are drawn to symmetrical features, as they are indicative of healthy genes, and fecundity. No wonder it is so important for us ladies to make sure our eyebrows are matching :P (Great, I so don’t stand a chance now; thanks to my new eyebrow lady). Sexy symmetrical bodies help men in gauging reproductive health of their potential mate, and informing them whether the mating between the two would make them evolutionary fit, resulting in several healthy offspring.
I know in real life things are different, and a lot more complicated; we are all looking for a combination of different traits.
* In evolution an organism that leaves behind the most number of long living offspring is considered successful or fit.
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2 comments:
Great post... until you started undermining the wants of men. Symmetry? Are you for real?
>Men, always thinking about themselves *shakes head*
Ironic in a post which makes women out to be so noble while men so shallow. It's almost biased! Still if a study said all this then it must be true eh?
Even more so seeing as the whole "women want humour, not biceps" is a myth that doesn't really pan out in reality. But hey, perhaps I'm biased too.
Ta for the linkage btw :).
I am a single girl approaching the top of the proverbial hill, so of course I am gonna be biased. :)
As far as the symmetry study is concerned, most of these behavioural studies are conducted by men. So the question is why do men undermine their own intelligence and foresight? :P
>> Even more so seeing as the whole "women want humour, not biceps" is a myth that doesn't really pan out in reality.
Maybe these men are not as funny as they imagine they are. :P
Thanks for reading and commenting :).
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